Clotheslines and Permanence

The countdown is on and in case you're not keeping up we are down to 3 weeks, 21 days until I am back on Cincy soil. Truthfully I am a mixed bag of thoughts and emotions. There is something so comforting about knowing that I am coming home, back to my roots, back to my real life, back to my family and friends. But since I've been gone I have had moments of questioning if I could be that wild, free, untamed, nomadic woman inside and maybe stay or go to some other exotic place. I've been here for over 2 months now and while I've called it home it hasn't felt that way. I recognize that I have been holding something back, keeping a part of me hidden. Maybe it's been a way to protect myself or maybe the lack of the familiar made me feel lost or maybe I'm just not cut out for this kind of adventure. Don't get me wrong this has been amazing but it's made me realize that home isn't as much of a place as it is the existence of the people you love. It makes Cincinnati look like the most beautiful place in the world. If I could just transplant the beach it would be perfect. The next few weeks are going to fly and I'm hoping to be present in this place so that I can enjoy the time rather than living focused on how many days until I'm home. With that said there will remain the awareness that soon I will be back and I look forward to remaking a home once I'm there. A home where I can laugh with friends, hike with Kenya, dig my hands into non volcanic soil, have a garden, grow vegetables, knit, sew with mom, drink tea, make soup, and have a clothesline, a real picture of permanence.