as Henry said

Before coming to Hawaii people told me that this trip would change my life and that I would come home a completely different person. Now as I reflect on these last 3 months I realize that that's a lot of pressure to put on this trip and on myself. So not to disappoint those of you that may have been hoping I would come back different but it didn't take long for me to realize that I am the same person in Hawaii as I was in Cincinnati. That's not to say that I haven't grown or that there haven't been changes. There's a little more color to my skin, my hair is a bit lighter (if grey counts as light) and longer. I'm a bit calmer. I've fallen in love with papayas and yoga. I've learned that I am better behind a coffee counter than I am in the coffee field. I can surf, well almost. I can rumba and swing, well sort of. I can rock a weed whacker and I kind of understand 4 wheel drive. This has definitely been an adventure. It has also been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It hasn't been physically terrible, definitely not what I expected, but not terrible. Emotionally though, this has been a challenge. This type of adventure tends to attract similar people. The lost souls, traveling without responsibility and working to discover themselves in the beauty of the land. But I wasn't lost, a searching soul of course, but not lost. It may have been easier to travel 3500 miles from everything familiar if I wasn't leaving a great life behind. As I studied the architecture of time passing I thought a lot about that life and who I am in that life. I realized that while my scenery may change who I am is the same. I am still goofy, passionate, sassy, dorky, and playful. I am still analytical erring on the side of critical. I'm still tough...sometimes too tough. I'm still strong...sometimes too strong. I am fiercely loyal and protective of the people I love. I remain hungry for the truth and dedicated to finding it even when it frightens me. And while hard to keep in balance with my skeptical nature I am hopeful, knowing that I need hope like my own blood. I live with intensity and wear my audacity like a skirt. I am still an idealist, maybe more than ever and I will continue dreaming big dreams. I guess being away from all of the people and things that I have associated with my identity has taught me more of who I am and has helped me to learn my name. Henry Miller said, "I wish to become more and more myself as ridiculous as that may sound." So in keeping with his words, I have grown but really just into myself.